HKH recently came across a book by Rachel Wright, who spent years living in Hong Kong and now lives in Beijing. A lot of the book revolves around dating in Hong Kong and how it is, as one of her friends says, “difficult”.
There is not a lot new in the book for anyone who’s been in Hong Kong for than a year, and in fact some of the stuff will seem downright depressing when you are reminded of it. Things like:
“Dating expats
Either I have very unfortunate girlfriends or they are representative. T speaks for many when she describes the expat dating scene as ‘in a word: difficult’. Like other women friends of mine, T was asked out by married expat men or men with no intention except having a good time. One-night stands are common and a casual relationship is virtually the norm. Compared with Asian women, Western women have a reputation as being difficult to please and uninterested in home-making and child-rearing. Financially independent single women here are acutely aware of the fact that they are competing for partners with younger, attractive Asian women who, for many men who plan to stay in Asia, are the ideal route into the culture.
Comments from expat men published in the South China Morning Post reflect a stereotypical view of Asian women:
- ‘I just love their boutique size. My Chinese girlfriend makes me feel ten feet tall’;
- ‘They are skinny and cute’; and
- ‘They know the rules of love affairs – which is to follow wherever your man goes’.
Another said:
Maybe all Western men look the same to them. Or maybe they just don’t care. Because, let’s face it, an ugly guy like me would never get such a beautiful girlfriend back in the USA.
Many expat women are not interested in dating Chinese men, either because they don’t find them physically attractive or because of cultural differences.
Once you’ve cut out the local men, the gay men, the married men and the men only interested in Asian women, you’ve pared down the field quite a bit. M, 46, has been in Hong Kong for the past ten years. According to her, it’s a numbers game. She says:
A couple of my friends have asked me how I expect to meet a man in Hong Kong. My answer was that I didn’t come to Hong Kong to meet a man – I came to experience Hong Kong and develop aspects of my life … But one of the greatest things about Hong Kong is there are lots of intelligent and interesting men. … I’ve dated lots of men during my time in Hong Kong for varying periods. In one year, I think, the youngest was 32 and the oldest was 61.
In spite of the apparent difficulties, several good expat women friends of mine met and married expat men here.”
But, you can check out this link, which has a few more excerpts, some of which actually include a few positive tidbits.
