Sounds like a reasonable request. But the reality is that traditional matchmaking services are not so great at delivering the goods. While a lot of people have been able to find romance and companionship with traditional dating services, as well as online matchmakers like It’s Just Lunch, there are just as many who have endured the dual heartbreak of not finding a match and having spent a LOT of money in the process. I have two friends who fell into this category before finally relenting and letting me have a crack at their online dating profiles. This was before I was a professional profile writer, and their experiences were a big reason I decided to polish my talents and go pro.
Traditional matchmakers offer you what can be pretty well summed up by the mission statement of It’s Just Lunch. To wit:
“First, we will discuss the entire process with you over the phone and answer all of your questions before scheduling a confidential interview in our office. This interview enables us to carefully discern what it is you look for in a potential partner. We talk about what has worked for you in the past (and what hasn’t) and what your interests and goals are. If we determine we have the type of people you are looking for and you would be a good fit with the program, we will get the process started.
We hand select a person for you based upon the information we discuss in the interview. Our clients are successful professionals that reside throughout the Metro area. We can match you with lawyers, doctors, entrepreneurs and much more. Our staff members have years of experience and create matches based on personality, common interests, and physical requirements. Our service isn’t about video or computer dating; it’s about an insightful, professional It’s Just Lunch staff member hand-selecting matches based upon your desires, goals, motivations and our instincts.”
Sweet! Sign me up! Oh wait. A quick Google search will come up with hundreds of complaints that all generally sound like this:
“I signed up for this service the fall/winter of 2007, after being told by the rep there were so many guys for me she wouldn’t know where to start!
First they tell you how attractive you are and how easy it will be for them to find someone for you. I paid $2800, a “discounted” price. They ask what you are looking for, very specifically. I gave them a typed list of at list 20 items I had in my criteria, to make it easy for them. After I paid, they kept giving me guys that did not fit my criteria AT ALL. My friends kept asking what the heck was going on, was the matchmaker not listening to me?
They DON’T listen and they don’t care. You sign a contract saying they are committed to finding you a match, however long it takes, no specific number of dates. However… they just forget about you. It’s been 2 months since I heard from them. And the only reason I heard from them 2 months ago was because I filed a claim with the Better Business Bureau — so they panicked.
They immediately hustled and called me, very apologetic, begging to reconnect and keep working with them. I have had enough now and I’m going to file a small claim suit. They have not provided what they claimed. They don’t screen the guys the way they say they do. And when you try to tell talk to them, they argue with you and insult you and make it seem like you are not meeting anyone because you are either 1) too picky, 2) not what the guys want, or 3) or being difficult to work with.”
whoops. And then there’s this pesky lawsuit.
Doh!
Perhaps “It’s Just a Subpoena” would be more apt.
There are certainly better and more effective matchmaking services out there, but the complaints above echo those of my friends who used a Beverly Hills-based company. Essentially, the only thing they ever thought they had in common with the few people they were sent on dates with was that they had both been willing to spend a few thousand dollars to get set up on dates. Fail.
Matchmakers generally don’t have the time to give you the personalized attention you expect, nor do they have a pool of potential matches as large as what they claim. And even if they did, let’s not forget that you are putting decision making about what you find attractive in the hands of someone else. How’s that worked out for you in the past?
But, lest we leave you thinking we totally hate matchmaking, here are a couple tips that might help you make the experience worthwhile if you decide to try it out. These are:
1) They are going to ask you to sign a contract. And they will use some serious sales pressure to push you. You should push back and ask for a guarantee that you’ll get at least x number of dates each week, or within whatever time frame suits you. If they can’t do that, walk.
2) You should pick at least a couple of requirements in your potential matches that are set in stone, so when they send you on a date with someone that’s six inches shorter than you asked for, you simply don’t count that as a date.
3) Ask what kind of a refund policy exists if you’re not satisfied. They may counter with some blather about your tastes being so subjective that they can’t give you a refund if they feel they’ve done their part and you are not happy. Guess what? Not your problem. We’re talking thousands of dollars. There had better be a solid refund policy.
Oh, and did I mention that I hate lunch dates anyway? But that’s a rant for another post.
That said, maybe I am just too cynical because these two playful scamps are making me think about getting a lunch matchmaker myself!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=246kU3xKm2A&hl=en&fs=1&]
Thinking you might need some help with dating in Hong Kong? Well,you are in luck because Hong Kong Hitch is here. Come visit us.
