Hong Kong Hitch

Match.com sued after alleged sexual assault

May 222011

The title speaks for itself, but I’ll say this. While this was a regrettable outcome, meeting someone online is no different than meeting a stranger in the “real world”. You have to use your best judgement and be careful. No amount of checking can filter out all the creeps and crazies in the world.

From Cnet:

“You never know whom you are meeting on dating sites.

Now, one California woman is trying to get a court to declare that you actually should be told the bare minimum: whether your potential date is a convicted sex offender.

The woman, identified in legal papers as Jane Doe, is suing Match.com, according to ABC News.

Her attorney, Mark Webb, held a press conference this week to explain the philosophy behind the suit. He said his client had no reason to believe that the man she met through Match.com had previously been convicted of sexual battery.

Criminal charges are pending in the incident alleged in the civil suit, according to ABC.

“When somebody uses their credit card to pay, [Match.com should] basically run the card through a sexual offender database,” Webb said. ABC reported that a Match.com lawyer said the company is unable to create such a screening system. It’s a little unclear why, though.

The real stuff white people like…brah

Dating Advice No Responses »

Sep 092010

All pretty much totally accurate, especially how much black folk love them some god and protestants can’t write. I keed! I keed! Sort of. put your hate mail in the comments.

“The above lists also make it clear that, regardless of whether Jesus himself was black, his most vocal followers definitely are. Religious expressions weren’t among the top phrases for any of the other races, but they’re all over the place for black men and (especially) black women, for whom 13 of the top 50 phrases are religious. Black people are over 100% more likely than average to mention their faith in their profiles.

The real stuff white people like...brah

Finally, it’s worth nothing that of the four lists we’ve seen so far, black women’s is the only one to explicitly include someone of another race: Justin Timberlake.”

http://gizmodo.com/5632105/the-real-stuff-white-people-like

Where are all the Englishmen? Seriously?

Dating Advice, dating stories, Rants No Responses »

Jun 192010

Aapparently in my 13 years living in New York I missed the whole part where the city’s women were desperately seeking Brit men to date. Needless to say, if you have ever even set foot in NYC and met it’s women, this is a bit of a surprise. Let’s look into this phenomenon shall we?

A new site called DateBritishGuys.com held a party in the hopes of getting American women to date British men. Well, first, perhaps it could sponsored by Crest? Sorry, too easy.

Well, apparently, it was a hit because:

“But judging from the scores of New York women who turned up last Saturday at an East Village pub called Central Bar to watch the United States play England in the World Cup tournament , the reputation of British men remains unsullied.”

The writer has obviously not been to Hong Kong. Or watched TV. Or met a British guy. But one Brit did display keen sense of observation that would do his countrymen proud as he said he was “a little blown away by how many people are wearing the DateBritishGuys T-shirts. I’m not sure if it’s for the free beer they’re getting, or if they actually do want to meet British men.”

Do we have anyone to solve this mystery? We do.

“Inessa Danilova, 27, standing with her friend Talia Chung, 31, bore out Mr. Dietz’s impression. “We just love the T-shirts, and we get free beers,” she said.”

So, really, this is just like any other day at a bar. Guys getting drunk and girls offered free/cheap drinks to attract more guys to get drunk. Smell that? That’s romance. And stale beer.

I wouldn’t bet on the success of DateBritishGuys.com. Except in Asia. They are gonna make a killing in Asia.

Here’s the whole ridiculous thing from the NY Times.

Time Out Date Our Friends: The “aftermath”

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Apr 222010

So, in case you forgot, Time Out sent some of their people out on blind dates a couple months ago. So, a few weeks ago they published the results here.

Here are a couple round ups of the dates that are pretty muc h indicative of all of them:

“Sometimes sticking with what you know works best, so Miko took a date he already knew to the new Habibi restaurant in Lan Kwai Fong. “The food was great – especially the starters,” said Miko. The chef came out to meet the couple and the serving staff laid on the charm. Meanwhile, Miko and his date sampled the cocktails, which he reckoned on reflection might not have been a great idea: “They were very strong!” The duo won’t be dating any time soon, but at least they remain friends.”

“I’m kind of a dating pessimist, so I always assume worst-case scenario,” said Andrea. But as it turned out, she had nothing to fear. “I didn’t even need to take out my taser,” she joked. Andrea’s date is a comedian, “an interesting person who I don’t think I would have had the opportunity to meet from my day-to-day life in Hong Kong”. Andrea enjoyed having the upper hand in the date because, as she modestly pointed out, she was the superior skater. She’s interested in seeing him again, but only as friends.”

Um, I recently read an article in the Economist about hedge fund growth. That was less boring than the Time Out piece.

Look, the word “aftermath” used anywhere in the vicinity of “date”, should be followed by stories of vomiting, inappropriate crying jags during dinner and if possible the issuance of restraining orders.

In short, aftermath means a date must have gone something like this,

Somewhere Roger Lodge shakes his head disappointedely….

Online Dating Success Stories

Dating Advice, Uncategorized No Responses »

Apr 012010

I have to admit I never read Helium much, but I came across an article which has some nice insight into reasons why people are skeptical of online dating…and how that ends up making them miss out on potential soul mates. Or at least decent dinner dates;)

This sounds pretty typical of many people:

“As a divorced, middle-aged woman, I was ready to date but didn’t know how to get started. I entered into the world of online dating with optimism and a spirit of adventure. Little did I know it would be the beginning of the rest of my life.

I got profiles sent to me every morning of eligible men. I would weed through them, and only keep the ones that interested me. I didn’t have to worry about offending anyone, I did not put myself at risk and I could do it in the privacy of my own home. I frequently reviewed them with coffee in hand and in my pajamas. Not a bad gig.”

See, it’s a lot easier than squeezing into a pair of ankle killing heels and wandering around LKF looking for Mr. Right. And really, when was the last time you found someone that was even Mr. Not Too Bad in LKF?

Read the full story HERE

New Date Site Alert!: Zhenai.com

Online Dating Review No Responses »

Mar 182010

Recently HKH spent a night at East, a swanky new hotel in Taikoo (who knew?) to do a review of the place that The Girl is writing for a big old fashioned print newspaper (yes, they still exist). Over a nice (but not great) breakfast, I stumbled upon an article in the South China Morning Post about a new online dating site called Zhenai.com.

I won’t be reviewing right this moment because, well, it’s in Chinese and I can still barely ask where the bathroom in Mandarin, much less read anything. But, Google translate will come to the rescue, I’ll sign up and give you a full report soon. In the meantime, here’s what the story had to say in part (via Divaasia) :

“HONG KONG – It is definitely not perfect, but the world’s largest matchmaking website for the Chinese believes mathematical calculation is a good guide to pairing off couples.

For the rising number of single women in China who are well past their marriageable age but still looking for an ideal spouse, the Beijing-based www.zhenai.com is a beacon of hope with its brand of ‘scientific matching’.

Using the mathematical knowledge he learnt at Cornell University, chief executive Li Song has come up with the perfect dress code for charming one’s potential mate – from hairstyles to the shade of one’s tights, the South China Morning Post said in a report yesterday.

And all this is retrievable from a database which the multimillionaire has painstakingly built up, the paper added.

Holding a doctorate in finance from Cornell, Dr Li worked as an investment banker in New York and then Hong Kong before returning to mainland China to apply quantitative finance to love.

He bought a free-dating site in 1998 and subsequently transformed it into an integrated Internet and call centre matchmaking service.

Zhenai.com, which means ‘cherished love’, is now the largest matchmaking site for the Chinese in the world, boasting 400 call centre matchmakers, 23 million registered members and a daily sign-up rate of 30,000.

Explaining why he goes for ‘mathematical matchmaking’, Dr Li said: ‘Because my background is more mathematically inclined, and I don’t have a (psychological) theory to begin with.’ He added: ‘What I do is based on statistical results, reverse engineering, and make it a learning process.’

He said: ‘It’s an iterative process, so you try to match people and then you study the profiles of the people who have dated successfully and put this back into your database.’

Dr Li believes there is much room for his company to grow as it fills ‘the need for a convenient, online version of a traditional matchmaking agency’ at a time when ‘everyone devotes most of their time to their jobs’ and has little time for spouse-hunting.

Besides, his female clientele is fast expanding as more ‘triple high’ women – those with high education, a high salary and a high job position – are being left high and dry as their male peers prefer lower earners.

It does not help that many of these women – meanly called ‘Great Sage that Rivals Heaven’ in China, a name referring to the Monkey King of Chinese legend as ‘sage’ sounds the same in Mandarin as ‘leftover’ – have high expectations of their Mr Right.

There are roughly half a million single women aged between 25 and 50 living in Beijing, with the number reaching a million in Shanghai, the newspaper reported yesterday.

Ironically, data also shows that there will be 30 million to 40 million more men of marriageable age than women by 2020, with one in every five men expected to have difficulty finding a wife.

The All-China Women’s Federation released a survey last year showing that about 41 per cent of single women in China were worried they might not be able to find the right person to marry.

Only 8.1 per cent of single men felt the same way.

That probably explains why a higher proportion of women than men are paying Dr Li’s website to meet up with their matched partners, although they are outnumbered by three to two in his database.

This article was first published in The Straits Times.”

I will reserve judgment for now, but one bit of wisdom that Dr. Li imparts is that women have a much higher chance of getting a second date if they wear a skirt that ends above the knee. Yeah, I did not need an algorithm to figure that one out math boy.

"You are my Density"

Dating Advice, Online Dating Review No Responses »

Feb 282010

Being known among friends and associates as an expert in online dating, having used it personally and professionally for, well, a looong time, I am often sent links to new online dating sites and stories. Usually I am already aware of the site in question, but I was recently clued in to something called “Kou Destiny”. Okay I’ll bite, let’s check it out together shall we?

Part of Kou Destiny’s mission statement is to “create the perfect environment, the right ambience and special moments for you to meet your true soul mate or life partner, and surely have a fabulous time! As a Member, you’ll meet fun and interesting people with a big heart and a lot of integrity.” It is apparently run by someone who I’m told is a “socialite”. Well, la di friggin da!

Now, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that socialites are great at connecting with people on a deep and meaningful level, so this sounds like a great idea! Let’s see how one begins to take advantage of such a great opportunity. First, you have to become a member. Sure, what do I have to do? Just fill out the application form and pay the Membership fee which is “only HK $9,988.00 instead of $17,000” (goes to bathroom, cleans contact lenses, returns, sees same numbers still there, starts to become slightly nauseas). Well, maybe it’s worth it depending on what I get? Luckily for us, there are numerous links to various membership benefits pages. All say “coming soon”. Doh! So, uh, I am supposed to pay upwards of ten grand for undefined benefits? I mean, it’s 10,000 HKD, not USD, but still, not sure I am buying that. However, then I see that you will definitely receive the perk of attending a launch party at the Opera Gallery. And you will be required to wear a lace mask. I don’t know about you, but my rate of success in finding romantic partners when wearing lace or looking at all like Zorro has been disappointing to say the least. And if you are the kind of person who thinks spending 10-20 grand to go to a cocktail party in Central is normal, I promise you that you have already met all of the other attendees at Zuma, the races in Happy Valley and other similar venues in Hong Kong.

After traveling further into the site (it’s a shot trip) I am becoming certain that, while this is a legitimate service, it is also off the charts on the Delusional Rich People Who Think Hobbies Are Jobs Scale. Look, there is something to be said for having a sort of screening process to separate people who are serious about finding love from some of the cheap freaks you find on free online dating sites. There is a range of numbers that seems like a reasonable amount of money that one should pay to find a real connection online. $17,000 is not within that range. Order an escort, I promise you that they will be no less interested in your bank account than anyone you meet on Kou Destiny.

But wait, perhaps I am being too harsh. Let’s take a look at some press the site got from a magazine I have never heard of called Gafencu (misspelled on the Kou Destiny site, so I guess none of those membership fees is going toward hiring a competent proofreader). In an interview, the founder makes it very clear that “The whole idea of this dating concept is that it’s not about how big your bank account is or how much you earn per annum. Instead, it’s all about how you fit the Kou Mantra.” Ignoring the question of WTF the Kou Mantra is, I am going to have to go ahead and call bullshit on this because here are the qualities that she says you need to have: “ready to love, a big big heart, passion for life, sense of humour, positive spirit, wild wild imagination, a bag of laughs, and honour and integrity. If you pass on all of them, good news—you’re in.” I have only been in Hong Kong for a year and I know one thing: none of that is remotely true for people like this. Here are the qualities Hong Kongers look for: how big your bank account is, do you own or rent, how big your bank account is, where did you go to university, how big your bank account is, how many clubs do you belong to, how big your bank account is, who are your parents.

Look, if you are willing to spend thousands of dollars and think you are funny, passionate, positive and honourable, and still can’t find someone to go on a few dates with, I think you need to be giving your money to a personal trainer, plastic surgeon or therapist and not an online dating site.

Time Out Hong Kong: Date Our Friends

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Feb 082010

Well, this seems like it has the potential for some very interesting stories. Or be a total train wreck! Excited!

http://www.timeout.com.hk/feature-stories/features/31727/date-our-friends.html#rules

Online dating success indeed!

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Feb 052010

We’re happy to announce that not only can online dating get you the man or woman of your dreams, it can also get you into the Olympics. Winter Olympics, but still.

http://deadspin.com/5464661/online-dating-pays-off-for-first-time-in-history

Date Site Review: The Perfect Partner

Online Dating Review No Responses »

Feb 042010

I don’t like posting reviews that are too negative, a) because many sites have cons, but also pros, b) giving bad reviews of online dating sites makes it tough for me convince people that online dating is perhaps the best way to find that special someone. That said, I find little to like about The Perfect Partner. But, that’s not really a problem this time around because TPP is not really an online dating site, but simply a matchmaking site that happens to have a website. Hey, it’s not even a dating site, as they helpfully point out by stating that “We are NOT a dating site- we aim to enable life partnerships.” Well okay then, let’s have at it!

If you recognize TPP at all, it’s probably because you noticed their personal ads in the back section of a few newspapers. That is old school. I thought it was 2010, but I guess they forgot to update their calendars (or go outside) after 1985. Anyhoo, what does TPP do you ask? Good question.

TPP will start you on “Your journey to finding a quality international potential life partner begins by completing our questionnaire. Complete honesty is essential when filling in your questionnaire and will ultimately help Wendy fulfil your requirements.

Your full telephone number, including country code and city code, are required with preference for mobile phone numbers as Wendy will often text message or email before making a call to your mobile phone. Scheduling is usually carried out via email due to global time zones. Please take time out to check your email address is correct on the questionnaire.

Once completed, a private consultation will be scheduled with Wendy. Consequently, you should receive contact from Wendy personally within a seven day time span. If you do not, your questionnaire has not been received.

No financial obligations are associated with your private consultation. Wendy will establish an understanding of your needs, lifestyle choices and preferences. Additionally and importantly, Wendy feels this meeting enhances confidence between the two of you. A timescale of at least ninety minutes is requested for this meeting. All topics will be discussed in English and will be held in the strictest of confidence.

Wendy is available to her clientele seven days a week. She can be reached on her cell phones and email worldwide to listen, answer questions, or to assist you in making a decision about your life partner choice.

If your desire is to speed up this process, call one of our offices and ask to be put through to Wendy. On Weekends Wendy answers the phones herself, dependant on current time zone. You can also email Wendy directly.

The Perfect Partner requires a one time registration fee for suitably qualified international women, payable in her local currency (500 USD/CHF, 300 Euro/GBP). Suitable qualified men retain Wendy as a consultant and the prices of these contracts and length of time will be discussed during your in person meeting.

A completed questionnaire, multiple recent lifestyle photographs and a CV/Resume are required prior to a private consultation being scheduled. Should a professional photo-shoot be required, this will also need to be discussed before the consultation. A success fee is requested upon her cohabitation or marriage which will be discussed during the private consultation.

Escorts or persons in a similar industry are not accepted. The Perfect Partner does not offer dating services, nor does it make use of professional daters. We do not have relationships with modelling or casting agencies for the purpose of recruitment. Married men in search of companions of any kind or fortune hunters will not be entertained. The Perfect Partner prefers quality over quantity.”

Whew. $500 to sign up…for the women? That’s US Dollars by the way. I shudder to think what the men pay for a, get this, 12-24 month contract. Should you need two years to find a partner for the men TPP claims are so handsome, educated and well-off? That’s a rhetorical question.

Also, if you need to dedicate a paragraph to pointing out that you really don’t want escorts or fortune hunters signing up, well, I think you have a fundamental problem with your business model, to say the least.

But, why would fortune hunters be lured to TPP? Well, take a look at the profiles of their female clients and their male clients. We’ll wait for you to come back (begins twiddling thumbs).

http://www.tpp-worldwide.com/women.php

http://www.tpp-worldwide.com/men.php

Notice anything? Besides the fact that the guy in that picture could only possibly be one of the four men profiled. And let’s face it, not representative of I would guess, say, 95% of their clients?

And then, there’s this:

“I met **** a couple years ago and had a few of my friends join her firm. All of the introductions she arranged were so completely and utterly WRONG! She will take on any client for the MONEY. That is HER GOAL.”

And that was the nice part of a lengthier complaint. Although I believe that match making services can work, this mini-rant is indicative of the most common complaint. Ultimately, such services can only have a limited number of people available. So what happens when they can’t find a match for a client? Do they give them their money back and apologize for not being able to find the right “life partner” for them? Uh, not usually. What generally happens is that they send clients on as many dates as possible and pray that something sticks and hope that the guy that wants a tall, blonde, financier, fails to notice that he is only meeting short, brunettes with jobs in administration.

Ultimately, I can’t really give a grade to TPP, because it’s not an online dating site per se, but I’ll just say that it makes me think a little bit better of E-Harmony. I feel dirty even saying that.

Older Entries

Hong Kong Hitch

Match.com sued after alleged sexual assault

The real stuff white people like…brah

Where are all the Englishmen? Seriously?

Time Out Date Our Friends: The “aftermath”

Online Dating Success Stories

New Date Site Alert!: Zhenai.com

"You are my Density"

Time Out Hong Kong: Date Our Friends

Online dating success indeed!

Date Site Review: The Perfect Partner

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